Thursday, September 17, 2015

Sit With Me For An Honest Moment

We need to talk.

That's poor choice of words. I promise, I'm not breaking up with you. Just sit with me and listen, I've got something deep and real to talk about.

2015 started off fairly normal…until about two weeks into January…then my life started to unravel, starting with my health. From my health it went on to relationships, career possibilities gone, more health problems, more health problems, more relationship explosions… until I finally gave up on certain things.

I deactivated my Facebook, but before doing so I made my husband administrator on my page so I could keep up with it eventually. I stopped talking to almost everyone. I stopped blogging. I stopped writing.




For one solid month, I didn’t write a word or open any documents on my laptop. Heck, I don’t think I opened it at all. This one month felt like an eternity.

Things were bad. With pretty much everything. The fears I had about my health, my life…overpowered the heartache I endured.

I remained silent.

I don’t remember my breaking point, nor do I remember what caused it, but I spent one entire night crying. I finally let all the built up tears out. By the time I woke up in the morning, I told myself I was stupid then grabbed my laptop and sat down in the living room…




I wrote until I couldn’t write another word.

I wrote one hundred and twenty nine words. Even with my need for even numbers, I couldn’t get one more word out.

Between writer’s block and my daughter starting kindergarten (cyberschool), writing is still hard for me. But I’m getting back to my normal. The normal I was in 2014 and two weeks of 2015. I will get ME back.

I’m still here. I’m still typing.

I will never quit.

Yesterday was a 3k day, and today was 4,206 words. See, I’m already close to my normal. I may “quit” other things or people in the future, but writing will never be one of them. I knew before that writing was what I wanted to do, but now I know I need it.

I know it's not details, but it's better than the silence I've given previously, right? I'm a very private person, so even this is much feels like I'm standing in my skivvies in front of all of you. I'm weird.

There is good news in this though. The Soul Mates Series WILL have book three published soon. Unfortunately, I do not believe it will be this year. I'm really far behind schedule. I promise to keep you updated and I'm extremely sorry for making you wait so long for book three.

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